True love goes beyond just physical attraction or emotional attachment, explains Eckhart Tolle, New Age publicist and lecturer. It requires you to recognize the deeper, formless part of yourself. If you can’t see this formless essence within you, you won’t be able to see it in others either. True love involves understanding that the essence of another person is the same as your own, not just their physical appearance or personality.
Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form. In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love.
Eckhart Tolle
Many people confuse true love with feelings like “falling in love.” While this can be exciting, it often fades, leading to the experience of “falling out of love.” It’s important to distinguish between these temporary feelings and true love, which is rooted in a deeper connection. More: Emotions as teachers: What can we learn from them?
Humans embody two aspects: the human form and the formless being. The human side is about physicality, while the being side represents timeless consciousness. We might feel drawn to others based on physical attraction. This can lead to intense feelings, sometimes labeled as love, but these feelings can also become obsessive if sexual desires are suppressed.
Understanding these distinctions helps us navigate our relationships better and seek deeper connections that reflect true love, rather than just surface-level attraction or social conditioning. More: Decisions made from fear vs. love
The search for wholeness in relationships
People often feel drawn to others because they seek completeness and fulfillment. This attraction stems from the idea of finding unity, as we experience ourselves as only part of a whole. In general, half of humanity is male and half is female, leading to this natural pull toward the other gender.
Attraction can happen when we recognize qualities in another person that match our own or even when we are drawn to their opposite traits. For instance, a calm person might feel attracted to someone more dramatic. This desire to connect often leads to a sense of personal love, but if this is all we rely on, we miss the deeper, formless aspect of love known as true love. More: Inspire true masculine potential in your partner
While initial attraction may be sexual, it cannot sustain a lasting relationship on its own. To deepen a connection, we need to include a transcendental element that goes beyond physical and emotional attraction. True love emerges from this timeless, non-physical part of ourselves, says Eckhart Tolle. If our focus remains solely on the external qualities of our partner, we risk identifying too strongly with our ego rather than fostering genuine love. Therefore, it’s essential to look for the deeper essence of love that transcends mere attraction. More: Importance of balancing masculine and feminine energy
Eckhart Tolle on deepening connections in relationships
Often, people start relationships with a strong sense of excitement, thinking, “This is the one!” Yet, after some time together, they might come to feel that they were wrong or fooled. This can happen even in the close bonds between parents and children. Without a deeper connection, the love between them can become strained, leading to complicated relationships. More: The number one red flag in a relationship
At first, many connections revolve around physical attraction or surface-level compatibility. However, challenges may arise, prompting partners to re-evaluate their feelings. Sometimes, just when it seems a breakup is on the horizon, couples discover a new depth that allows for genuine connection and growth.
To truly understand the quality of a relationship, consider asking, “Is there room for both of us in this connection?” If a relationship consists only of thoughts and emotions, it can feel suffocating. While you might experience good times together, conflicts and disagreements often linger beneath the surface.
Recognizing personal affinities is important, but relying on them alone can lead to pain. When love lacks a deeper, transcendent dimension, it may cause suffering. To bring this deeper aspect into your relationship, focus on cultivating inner calm while interacting with your partner. This creates space for both individuals, fostering more profound and meaningful connections that can lead to lasting fulfillment. More: How to avoid a power struggle in a relationship?
Embracing true love
True love is not merely a fleeting emotion or physical attraction; it transcends these surface-level connections to reach a profound understanding of oneness. As Eckhart Tolle explains, recognizing the formless essence within ourselves allows us to see that same essence in others. This deeper connection fosters genuine love that is rooted in shared existence rather than external appearances. Many people confuse this with the excitement of “falling in love,” which can easily fade and leave behind feelings of emptiness.
To build lasting relationships, it’s essential to go beyond personal affinities and recognize the importance of the transcendental dimension of love. Attraction based solely on physicality or personality traits can create illusions of completeness, yet these connections often lack the depth necessary for enduring fulfillment. Instead, by embracing the stillness and timelessness within ourselves, we can nurture a love that connects us at a fundamental level, allowing us to experience true intimacy.
A successful relationship involves creating space for both partners to grow, learn, and evolve. When individuals focus on understanding and appreciating each other’s deeper essence, they can foster connections that withstand life’s challenges. Ultimately, true love emerges from this understanding, bringing a sense of wholeness and fulfillment that transcends the temporary nature of physical attraction. By seeking this depth in our relationships, we open ourselves to the beauty of unconditional love, enriching our lives and the lives of those we connect with. More: Signs you are not putting enough effort into a relationship
