In various corners of our planet Earth, people have amusing expressions to describe the art of exaggeration. Especially when comes to blowing a small thing out of proportion. The British talk about a storm in a teacup, and the Americans mention a tempest in a teapot. The Dutch say, “Van een mug een olifant maken,” turning a mosquito into an elephant. In Turkish, it’s “Pireyi deve yapmak,” making a camel out of a flea. So, exaggeration seems to be a universal thing. But why do we all do it? Let’s explore the psychology behind exaggeration.
That’s how it is with legends. The greater they sound, the more must’ve got left out.
Tim Tharp
People exaggerate differently – they might overreact, catastrophize, magnify, maximize, overplay, or overblow things. We’ve got a bunch of words for it! Also, when people feel like they’re not as good as others, they tend to boost themselves up to feel stronger. If insecure people can avoid facing their real selves for a while, they might use tricks to make themselves look better.
Sometimes, people hide their feelings of not being good enough by pretending to be the opposite. Like, if someone is always trying to show how tough and manly they are, it might mean deep down inside, they don’t feel that way. It’s like they’re putting on a tough act to cover up what they feel inside. So, when you see someone trying hard to be something, it might be because they’re not feeling that way inside and are trying to make up for it. More: Fix your codependency if you want to build healthy relationships
But when we look closer, exaggeration usually fits into three main groups: cognitive distortions, manipulation, and pathology.
The psychology behind exaggeration
Cognitive distortions are like sneaky thoughts that make people see things not quite how they are. These thoughts can make someone think something is more likely to happen than it is (that’s overestimation) or make a small problem seem big (that’s catastrophizing). When people are in tough situations and feeling anxious, they might use exaggeration to feel more in control.
Exaggeration can also be a trick some people use on purpose. When we’re little, we might make a big deal about something to get attention, like a kid dramatically telling their mom about being teased. Grown-ups might do it too, like bragging or boasting, to get noticed. It’s not always meant to hurt someone; friends might give each other big compliments to feel closer, and adults often praise kids to make them feel good.
Then there’s exaggeration that comes from mental disorders. For example, in depression, people might think in extremes like everything is either perfect or terrible. A person with narcissistic personality disorder feels super important, and their behavior is linked to thinking everything is a disaster. More: How to deal with a family member with narcissistic personality disorder?
If exaggeration is coming from these more serious problems, it’s important to get help from professionals. But if it’s just part of how we think or how we try to get attention, being aware of it can help us manage it better.
Psychologists give these explanations
Psychologists suggest that people exaggerate for various psychological reasons. They are often tied to underlying insecurities, social dynamics, and coping mechanisms.
- Insecurity and Self-Esteem: Individuals who struggle with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem may exaggerate their achievements or attributes to boost their self-worth. They seek external validation and recognition by presenting an inflated version of themselves.
- Social Pressure and Comparison: In a society that often emphasizes success and achievement, individuals might feel compelled to exaggerate their accomplishments or experiences to align with societal expectations. The fear of falling short in comparison to others can drive people to embellish their achievements.
- Attention-Seeking and Approval: Exaggeration can be a means of seeking attention and approval from others. People might amplify their stories or achievements to elicit positive reactions, admiration, or validation from their social circles.
- Coping Mechanism for Insecurity: Exaggeration can serve as a coping mechanism, helping individuals mask feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. By presenting a grandiose version of themselves, they attempt to create a shield against potential criticism or rejection.
- Social Influence and Expectations: Cultural and societal expectations play a significant role in shaping behavior. In environments that value certain traits or achievements, individuals may feel the need to exaggerate to fit in or meet perceived standards.
- Emotional Expression and Coping: Exaggeration, especially in storytelling or recounting experiences, can serve as a way to express emotions more vividly. It may help individuals convey the intensity of their feelings or experiences, even if the actual events were less dramatic.
- Impression Management: Some people exaggerate as a strategic way of managing the impressions others have of them. This can be particularly true in professional or social settings where individuals may want to create a specific image or project an air of competence and success.
Ways people exaggerate their importance to mask insecurities
Always rushing, those eager to seem important act like time is their rare commodity. They keep checking the clock, peeking at their phone, and moving quickly to show how busy they are. Or they`ll act like they have a lot on their minds, furrowing their brows and squinting, making it seem too busy to relax. When they plan a meeting, they’ll intentionally show up late. They will make you wait and suggest they’re busier and more important than you.
Using fancy words for everyday stuff is another trick. They make simple things sound extra special. Instead of saying they’re meeting friends for a community event, they’ll call it a “board meeting” to make it sound exclusive. Feeling a bit insecure about their smarts, they put on a show of being the smartest in the room. Even if they don’t know much, they act like they do to impress everyone. They might even brush off your ideas, making it seem like they knew it all along.
On email, they use those “out of office” messages, even when they’re not away. It’s like saying they’re too busy to reply quickly, trying to make you think they’re dealing with tons of important emails. On social media, they love to show off. They’ll exaggerate their job titles and skills to make themselves look better. Every post is carefully made to make them seem super important.
