How to deal with a narcissistic personality disorder family member requires a thoughtful approach, as navigating such relationships can be challenging. Around 16 million people in the U.S., which is about 5% of the population, might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This means, besides the fact you may have it, that you may know someone dealing with this condition. Dealing with NPD can be tough, and usually, the usual advice is to avoid forming deep relationships with a person with narcissistic personality disorder. More: What is sexual narcissism?
But that’s the thing about narcissists. They can try to fool you, with all their heart, but in the end, they’re just fooling themselves.
Ellie Fox
But what if that person is a part of your family? A family member with a person with narcissistic personality disorder or traits might try to gaslight or criticize you. Because of their big ego and not understanding themselves well, they often want constant praise and sometimes blame you for their actions. Even though it’s challenging, there are positive ways to handle their behavior. Taking care of yourself, writing in a journal, building a support system, and avoiding unnecessary conflict are good ways to start. More: The power of sincere gratitude
Dealing with narcissistic personality disorder family member
Navigating relationships with family members with narcissistic personality disorder can be incredibly challenging, often leading to frustration and turmoil. For those dealing with parents with narcissistic personality disorder, trying to express their needs may feel like an uphill battle, as understanding and empathy can be elusive. In the case of siblings with narcissistic personality disorder, one might find themselves cast as the scapegoat or pitted against other family members. More: Powerful techniques to protect your aura from energy suckers
Recognizing signs of narcissism within the family dynamic is crucial for understanding and coping with the challenges that may arise. Gaslighting, a manipulation tactic to distort the truth intentionally, is a common tool a family members with narcissistic personality disorder who seek to cover up their abusive behavior. Conditional love becomes apparent, with familial affection seemingly contingent on meeting specific conditions, often requiring excessive praise and admiration.
Self-centered behavior is another hallmark, where everything revolves around them, even in the face of adversity. Expressions like “You’re overreacting” or “You’re so insecure” may dismiss others’ feelings. Being silenced or ignored, coupled with a long-term sense of confusion and self-doubt, is a potential outcome. Anxiety may surface when you are around a person with narcissistic personality disorder due to unpredictability or fear of disapproval.
Observing how they handle other relationships can provide additional insight. Narcissists often engage in negative behaviors such as name-calling, aggression, or jealousy. Expecting constant agreement, support, or validation, and placing the responsibility for their happiness on others are also traits commonly associated with people with narcissistic personality disorder. Using excessive attention and admiration to gain favor, becomes a tactic to feed their constant need for praise. More: How to control your anger when someone provokes you?
Tips on how to deal with a narcissistic personality disorder family member
- Establishing boundaries
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often struggle to understand and respect boundaries. They may manipulate others to get what they want. While you can’t control their actions, you can control your own. Family members of narcissists may find themselves enabling these behaviors to avoid conflict. However, you have the power to break this cycle by setting limits on what you’re willing to tolerate.
You might decide not to tolerate disrespectful talk from them or refuse to agree with the negative things they say about others. You could also limit how often you respond to their texts or set a time limit for phone conversations to avoid lengthy rants. More: Fix your codependency if you want to build healthy relationships
2. Avoiding harmful interactions
Arguing with a person with narcissistic personality disorder is usually not helpful, as they may not understand or care about your point of view. They might even turn the disagreement into verbal abuse because they struggle with empathy and good communication. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder tend to blame others for their actions and see themselves as the hero. It’s better to disengage from the conversation and try to leave the situation.
If your family member with narcissistic personality disorder becomes aggressive, abusive, or emotionally manipulative, it’s crucial to let them know that you won’t tolerate such behavior. Making it clear that harmful actions are not acceptable is essential for your well-being.
3. Seek support and professional help
Dealing with someone like this can affect your self-esteem because of insults, public humiliation, and other forms of mistreatment. Remember to be kind to yourself and not let them make you believe you’re the one to blame. Having friends and talking to a counselor can provide you with a fresh perspective. They can help you realize that you don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about what you’re going through. More: Understanding Chiron retrograde: Healing through the signs
What else can you do?
Some other tips will show you how to deal with a family member with a narcissistic personality disorder. It’s crucial to have a safe place where you can find comfort. Feeling secure in your surroundings is important. Whether it’s a spot at home or somewhere outside, having a retreat can be helpful as you stand your ground. Remember, you can’t change the person with narcissistic personality disorder, and it’s okay to let go of the responsibility to do so. This realization allows you to move forward.
Reading about how others coped and survived similar family relationships can be both inspiring and educational. It might offer new perspectives on ways to heal that you haven’t thought about before. If you can work towards leaving or cutting ties with this person, it’s a good idea to plan your exit. Think about what you need and want before leaving. Sometimes, leaving is the best solution for your well-being. More: 5 basic meditation techniques
