How to control your anger? The answer to this question can transform our experiences significantly. Especially when someone is pushing our boundaries and making it very hard to keep our cool. Anger, whether it’s called wrath, fury, or rage, is a strong feeling. This feeling is helpful, but how we react is a different thing.
If you are angry about something you don`t act on your anger right away, wait 24 or 48 hours before sending that e-mail or yelling at someone.
Robert Green
Feeling angry is normal and can even give us clues about how we see a situation. But it’s crucial to handle it in a good way. If anger gets out of control, it can harm our health and relationships. Luckily, there are ways to learn how to manage anger better. More: Does body language tell the truth?
Understand your feelings
Anger can show up in different ways. Some folks feel angry a lot, while others might explode with rage less often. But no matter how it shows up, uncontrolled anger isn’t good for us. It can hurt our bodies and minds. Research says that being angry a lot or holding onto anger can raise the chances of getting heart disease or make it worse if you already have it. It can also cause other problems like trouble sleeping, stomach issues, and headaches.
Pay attention to what situations or events tend to make you feel angry. Identifying triggers can help you anticipate and manage your responses better. Notice if there are recurring patterns or themes in your anger episodes. Do certain people, places, or circumstances consistently trigger your anger? Recognizing these patterns can help you develop strategies to cope more effectively.
Take time to explore and understand the emotions underlying your anger. Sometimes, anger masks other feelings like hurt, fear, or frustration. Reflecting on what you’re truly feeling can help you address the root cause of your anger.
Reflect on your past experiences with anger. Consider how you were taught to express or suppress anger growing up, as well as any significant events that may have shaped your relationship with anger. Cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness techniques to become more attuned to your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations when you’re angry. This can help you catch anger early and respond more intentionally. More: Judging someone’s character
How to control your anger: The power and purpose of anger
Anger, often dismissed as an unwelcome intruder in our emotional landscape, holds a pivotal role in our psyche. It serves as a beacon, illuminating the boundaries of our tolerance and hinting at deeper truths concealed beneath its fiery facade. When we weep in our dreams, it may not be solely sadness that beckons, but a sense of injustice or injury quietly pleading for recognition. These visceral responses, though uncomfortable, are vital messengers, alerting us when something unsettles our inner equilibrium.
Yet, the true test lies not in suppressing anger, but in mastering its volatile energy. Emotional maturity unveils itself in how we channel this force; a mature individual acknowledges anger without succumbing to its whims, understanding its nuanced purpose in the tapestry of emotions. Rather than resorting to verbal jousts fueled by spite, they introspect, seeking the root cause of their ire with clarity and composure. More: How to tell if someone is mature?
In this journey of self-discovery, quarrels and conflicts may arise as inevitable milestones. However, hurling insults only deepens the chasm, hindering any hope of resolution. Instead, they emotionally evolved pause, dissecting their emotions before engaging in verbal warfare. They grasp that beneath the surface turbulence lies an opportunity for understanding, a chance to unearth the true source of discontent and pave the path toward reconciliation.
Thus, the journey toward emotional maturity is not devoid of storms, but rather a navigation through turbulent seas toward the tranquil shores of self-awareness and harmony. It is in embracing, rather than evading, our anger that we unveil its transformative potential, transcending conflict to find solace in understanding. More: 7 chakras and how they influence your well-being
How to control your anger: Strategies you can use
- If you’re feeling heated and about to lash out at someone, like a friend, family member, or even a driver in traffic, stop. Take a breath and count to 10. Doing this can help you avoid saying or doing something you’ll regret later.
- Once you’ve calmed down, think about why you’re upset. Maybe you feel ignored because your spouse didn’t help clean up after dinner, or you feel taken advantage of because your son returned your car with an empty gas tank. Address the situation and the person directly, using “I” statements. For example, say, “I’m upset that you didn’t fill up the gas tank” or “I feel unappreciated when I have to clean up alone after cooking.” More: How to master basic cooking techniques for beginners
- Give yourself a break. Taking short breaks throughout the day can help you recharge and handle stress better. Pay attention to your energy levels and take a timeout when you need it.
- Get moving. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and improve your mood. Going for a walk, running, or doing any physical activity you enjoy can help you calm down when you’re feeling angry.
- Relax your mind and body. Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, listening to calming music, or imagining a peaceful scene. Yoga and meditation can also help you stay calm and centered. More: 5 basic meditation techniques
What about that person who constantly provokes you?
When someone is constantly provoking you, it’s important to first recognize your triggers and understand what specifically is causing your anger. Then, try to control your anger by taking a moment to pause and collect your thoughts before responding. Approach the person calmly and assertively and communicate how their behavior is affecting you. Set boundaries and let them know what consequences there will be if the provocation continues. If necessary, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you manage your anger and address the situation effectively. More: How to tell if someone is mature?
