A power struggle in a relationship occurs when there’s competition for control and influence, which makes many things more difficult. These power dynamics can either strengthen or weaken the bond.
The only way to win a power struggle is to give it up.
Robert Mandel
No matter how much you have in common, disagreements will arise. However, disagreeing is different from fighting for control. Power struggles often appear as a push to get your way on important issues, ignoring your partner’s perspective or needs, or crossing their boundaries.
These struggles for control may show up early in the relationship or become a problem later when important topics are not resolved. More: How to be more feminine?
Every relationship has a power dynamic, but not all of them involve struggles
It’s normal to have disagreements and want your partner to see things your way. In a committed relationship, it’s important to negotiate and find compromises to meet each other’s needs. Power struggles usually aren’t a problem if both partners are willing to compromise.
A 2021 study with 181 heterosexual couples found that it’s not the actual differences in power that matter, but how each partner views these differences and their sense of personal power. The study also discovered that balanced power dynamics lead to greater satisfaction, a higher libido, and better emotional well-being. More: Importance of balancing masculine and feminine energy
Why is there a power struggle in a relationship?
Boundaries
Boundaries are essential in all relationships. Without them, you can easily feel anxious and sense that something is wrong. We often get angry at others for overstepping our boundaries, but the real issue is whether we communicated those boundaries in the first place. For instance, if someone is overwhelming you with certain demands, it’s your job to let them know and to stand up for yourself. Attacking the other person only leads to conflict and poor communication. Anger is not a productive way to communicate. Since everyone is different, it’s important to clearly explain what is acceptable and what isn’t. More: Fix your codependency if you want to build healthy relationships
Disbalans Masculine/Feminine energy
An imbalance of male and female energy can harm love relationships. When women act from their male energy instead of their female energy, problems start. A woman needs to let a man take on certain roles that don’t suit her feminine energy. She needs to trust him and allow him to handle those roles. This balance helps maintain harmony in the relationship. More: 10 activities that increase feminine energy
Lack of trust (creates conflict and competitiveness)
The imbalance often comes from mistrust, as many women don’t trust men to handle important tasks correctly. This fear pushes them into masculine energy. Women need both masculine and feminine energy, but these energies should be balanced and used appropriately. When interacting with men, women should communicate from their feminine energy to maintain harmony.
Taking steps toward healing your relationship
The first step in healing any relationship is to recognize that there is a problem and clearly define what it is. The surface issue is that you can’t maintain a stable connection with your partner, no matter what you try.
The deeper issue is that you both are triggering each other’s deepest fears. These might be fears of rejection, abandonment, being controlled, or feeling trapped. More: Decisions made from fear vs. love
If you admit that there’s a problem you don’t know how to fix, you’ve made the first move toward healing your relationship. To resolve conflicts, you need skills like active listening, assertive communication, and choosing love daily.
Here are some additional tips to help:
- Avoid letting emotions, especially anger, control you. If you start to feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath to regain your focus.
- Remember that your relationship is based on shared values, not differences.
- Understand what both of you want and be ready to make compromises.
- Be clear about your expectations.
- Try to empathize with your partner and see things from their perspective.
- Respect differences in opinion and validate your partner’s viewpoint to ensure everyone’s needs are addressed. More: Assertiveness definition: How to communicate with confidence?
