Envy doesn’t have to be the boss of you. Sure, it shows up uninvited, making a mess of your thoughts, but you don’t have to let it take over. The trick? Get to know it, understand what it’s really trying to tell you, and then take back the driver’s seat.
When you work on your confidence and shift your perspective, envy starts losing its grip. It’s just an emotion—totally natural—but if left unchecked, it can mess with your relationships and self-worth. So why let it? Instead, turn it into motivation, use it to learn more about yourself, and watch how much lighter life feels.
Envy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.
Harold R. Pickens
Jealousy and envy are often intertwined, but have slightly different meanings. Jealousy is that icky feeling you get when you’re afraid of losing something or someone you already have—like your partner, your best friend, or maybe even your job. It’s more about worrying about what might slip away from you, not necessarily wanting what someone else has.
Envy, on the other hand, is when you see something amazing in someone else’s life—like their success, their style, or their talent—and you think, “I wish I had that!” It’s that longing to have what they have, and sometimes it can leave you feeling a bit less than.
So, jealousy is about holding on to what’s yours, while envy is about wanting what someone else has. Both are normal emotions, but understanding them can help you work through them more healthily! Today, we focus on breaking free from envy!
Here are effective steps to overcome it:
1. Recognize and accept you are feeling envy
First things first—feeling envy happens to everyone. Instead of pretending you’re not feeling it, acknowledge it. Ask yourself: What is triggering this feeling? Awareness is the first step toward change.
2. Understand the root cause
Identifying the root cause helps you take the first step toward healing. You do not have to share this knowledge with the rest of the world, but being honest with yourself is the first step to break free from it.
To identify the root cause, ask yourself:
- Who am I envious of?
- What do these people have that makes me feel envious?
- Am I feeling like I’m not successful enough? Not attractive enough? Not loved enough? Instead of focusing on the person you’re envious of, focus on what this emotion is revealing about you.
Desire is the root of envy. Desire for beauty, power, status, attention, sex appeal, possession, etc, can create a feeling of hatred, animosity against someone who is perceived to have more than we do. If you can root out desire, you can get out of envy.
3. Understanding envy
Envy is that annoying little voice we hear that whispers, “Hey, you’re not quite there yet!” It usually comes with a suitcase full of fears—like the fear of not being good enough, losing something (or someone) important, or feeling like we’ll never measure up. It’s like that overdramatic friend who always jumps to the worst conclusions.
But here’s the twist: envy isn’t just here to ruin our mood. If we pay attention, it can teach us a lot about ourselves. It’s like a personal trainer for our emotions, pushing us to face our insecurities and figure out what we truly want. Instead of letting it drag us down, we can use it as a tool for growth—and maybe even thank it for the wake-up call (just maybe). So before we roll our eyes at it, let’s give it some credit—it’s trying to tell us something important. Instead of just making us feel bad, jealousy shines a spotlight on the areas where we doubt ourselves, the things we believe we’re missing, and the dreams we secretly wish were ours.
Think of the people you’re envious of—they’re not just there to frustrate you; they’re showing you what you truly want. It’s like your inner GPS saying, “Hey, maybe this is a direction worth exploring!” So instead of seeing envy as the enemy, why not use it as a guide?
4. How to overcome envy
First, shift your perspective. Instead of seeing others as competition, see them as inspiration. If someone has something you want—whether it’s a career, a relationship, or a skill—ask yourself: What can I learn from them? Their success doesn’t take away from yours.
Start practicing gratitude. Envy is focused on what we lack, while gratitude shifts our focus to what we have. Start a daily or at least weekly habit of listing three things you’re grateful for. You’ll be surprised how much lighter you feel.
Limit triggers. Social media can fuel envy by showing only the highlights of people’s lives. If scrolling makes you feel bad about yourself, take a break. Remind yourself that what you see online is often just the best, most polished version of reality.
Say it loud. Sometimes, the best way to break free from envy is to do the exact opposite of what envy wants us to do—speak up instead of shutting down. Instead of letting it eat us up inside, we can be honest about what’s bothering us. And believe it or not, it’s incredibly freeing.
Imagine this: Instead of holding back a compliment or secretly feeling bitter, you tell the person you’re envious of exactly what you admire about them. If you’re envious of someone’s looks, you could say, “Wow, you are truly stunning! I’d love to have that kind of presence.” Sounds scary, right? But here’s the magic—it turns envy into appreciation. Suddenly, instead of feeling threatened, you’re acknowledging and celebrating beauty, talent, or success. And in doing so, you take away envy’s power. It’s a little shift that makes a huge difference. Because the more we practice kindness and openness, the more we realize that admiration feels so much better than envy.
Use healing techniques. Techniques like Reiki, acupuncture, or chakra healing can help clear blocked energy and release negative emotions. By working with energy, you can restore balance in your body and mind, allowing you to release envy and invite in peace and positivity. But more often, envy runs deep and can be tied to past experiences or wounds. Talking to a therapist or life coach can help uncover the root cause and provide tools to address it more healthily. Therapy offers a safe space to explore these feelings, gain insights, and work through them.
For example, you can try the Theta Healing technique with a qualified Theta Healing therapist, or you can practice it on your own through the Ho’oponopono method. Both approaches offer powerful ways to heal and transform negative emotions like envy. More: Healing through the Theta Healing technique
Theta healing technique
Envy often comes with frustration, comparison, and even resentment. Theta Healing allows you to energetically cut those ties, releasing any emotional weight you’ve been carrying. It’s like pressing the reset button on your emotions. This powerful technique helps you dig deep, uncover limiting beliefs, and replace them with thoughts that serve you. So, how can Theta Healing help you let go of envy? Let’s break it down. More: Are our perceptions influenced by our values?
First you need to find your hidden beliefs that fuel envy, like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve success.” Once you find the root, you can start changing it. One of the biggest transformations in Theta Healing is moving from a mindset of lack (“I don’t have this, so I’m not happy”) to a mindset of abundance (“There’s enough for everyone, including me”). Through meditation and deep belief work, you rewire your thoughts to trust that what you desire is inside you. If someone has something you want—whether it’s beauty, success, or love—it’s a sign that it exists in your reality too. You just need to align with it. Instead of believing “I’m not good enough”, you install beliefs like “I am worthy, I am enough, and I attract what is meant for me.” When you start truly believing that, envy naturally fades away.
Theta Healing isn’t just about removing envy—it’s about transforming it into something useful. Every time you feel that twinge of envy, see it as a clue to what you truly want and a reminder that you are fully capable of achieving it. Healing isn’t about ignoring, but about understanding, shifting, and ultimately using envy to grow. More: Eckhart Tolle on the true purpose of life
Ho’oponopono technique – Hawaiian Style
The Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono teaches us to focus on love and healing, and one powerful way to do that is through practicing gratitude. When you feel that envy twinge, pause and think: “What am I grateful for in my life right now?” It might be your health, your friendships, or even the roof over your head. The more you focus on what you already have, the less room there is for envy to creep in. By acknowledging and appreciating your blessings, you naturally shift from comparison to celebration. So, next time you feel envious, take a deep breath, practice a little gratitude, and watch that negativity melt away! More: What is rapid transformational therapy?
The heart of Ho’oponopono is a simple but powerful mantra:
- I’m sorry.
- Please forgive me.
- Thank you.
- I love you.
These phrases help you release the emotional charge tied to negative emotion. It’s like saying, “I’m sorry for holding on to these feelings, forgive me for my negativity, thank you for the healing, and I love myself and others enough to let go.”
By repeating these phrases, you create space for forgiveness and healing to happen. It’s like clearing the clutter from your mind and heart, so there’s more room for peace, love, and joy.
Ho’oponopono works because it focuses on you—your peace, your growth, and your healing—rather than trying to change others. It’s a gentle yet powerful way to free yourself from envy and embrace a lighter, more loving mindset. More: What’s the difference between modesty and humility
Conclusion
Envy doesn’t have to control your life. When you understand it, work on your confidence, and shift your mindset, you can turn it into a tool for self-improvement rather than a source of negativity. And hey, next time it shows up, maybe you’ll even thank it for pointing you in the right direction! 😊. More: Your choices mirror your self-evaluation
