What does it mean to be cool and how does it affect a person? These people often play into societal stereotypes and expectations. Particularly in the context of relationships. In the realm of romantic relationships, the term “cool girl” typically refers to a woman who conforms to certain ideals of femininity. At the same time, she is embodying traditionally masculine traits that are perceived as desirable by men. This might include being easygoing, low-maintenance, and interested in activities typically associated with men, such as sports or video games. The “cool girl” is often depicted as effortlessly attractive, fun-loving, and non-confrontational.
Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.
Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
If we look at these women in movies or famous people who act like them in public, we can see what makes them who they are. They’re like one of the guys. They enjoy things like cars, sports, or stuff that’s usually seen as more for guys. This girl likes what the main guy likes. She’s fun, bold, and not shy. She enjoys fast food and beer. This cool attitude comes in a good-looking girl package. She’s laid-back and never gets mad. But here’s the thing: the Cool Girl isn’t real. She’s an idea made up by guys and kept going by women trying to be like her.
Similarly, “cool people” in relationships are often those who are perceived as socially desirable or popular. They may possess qualities such as confidence, charm, and a laid-back attitude. These people are often seen as attractive and desirable partners due to their ability to navigate social situations with ease and to project an air of confidence and self-assurance. More: How to be more feminine?
The pressure to be cool can lead women to ignore their real needs
The pressure to be like that can sometimes make us forget about our real needs in relationships. Especially for women who go with the flow, it can feel like being cool means being okay with things that might not be okay. Take the ‘cool girl’ for example. She’s supposed to be super chill, never bothered by anything. But in reality, she might be putting up with stuff that makes her uncomfortable, all in the name of being cool.
Cool girls are seen as independent and in control, but deep down, they might be struggling with their own needs and feelings. Many women think being cool will make them more attractive, but often, it just leads to ignoring what they want. And sadly, this can attract the wrong kind of attention, from people who see the cool facade as a challenge to conquer rather than a person with real needs.
People with egotistical tendencies are often attracted to these girls because they enjoy the excitement of playing games in relationships, especially if they can come out on top. The idea of being a cool girl is all about being easygoing and not asking for much. This kind of girl doesn’t question why her partner is hanging out with their ex or someone who likes them—asking questions isn’t seen as cool. True coolness comes from not caring, but sometimes people fake it. They pretend not to have needs or feelings, ignoring their discomfort and physical responses. This can lead to problems because they don’t speak up about what they want or need in the relationship.
Healthy relationships are based on honesty and being who you are
It’s worth noting that the concept of “coolness” often simplifies and restricts the rich diversity found in individuals and their relationships. This pressure to conform to a specific image can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a sense of disconnection from our authentic selves within our relationships.
However, it’s essential to recognize that healthy relationships thrive on genuine connection. A healthy relationship is based on mutual understanding and acceptance of each other’s unique qualities. There is no need to fit into societal expectations. True fulfillment in relationships comes from embracing our authenticity. It is honoring the individuality of ourselves and our partners. By prioritizing openness and acceptance over conformity, we create an environment where true connection can flourish. It’s about celebrating our differences and appreciating the richness they bring to our relationships. In doing so, we move beyond the limitations of societal norms. We foster deeper, more meaningful connections with those around us. More: How to express your feminine energy?
